How to Ask a Bride if Kids Are Invited

Choosing whether children will be invited to a wedding can be a challenging decision.

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Preparing for a wedding is a complicated process, and the decision of whether or not to invite children can be challenging for brides-to-be. If you have been invited to a wedding, but you’re not sure whether your children are invited, you can respectfully reach out to the bride to clarify the invitation.

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Maybe the save the date card arrived months ago, but the bride and groom are still choosing the stationery for the formal invitations, leaving you wondering whether your children will be invited to the wedding. In this case, you may reach out to the bride to ask whether they have decided whether children will be invited. If the couple hasn’t yet decided, politely say that you will respect their decision either way, but let them know how much advance notice you will need to make child-care arrangements in the case of an adults-only wedding, especially if it is a destination wedding.

When the Invitation is Unclear

Traditionally, wedding invitations indicate whether children are invited by including their names on the invitation, according to the Emily Post website. Some hosts, however, may use the phrase “and Family” instead of listing the names of invited children. If both of these cues are absent, your children are probably not invited to the wedding, and Emily Post advises that you should respect your hosts’ decision to hold an adults-only event. If the invitation is unclear, however, you should phone or email to ask the bride whether your children are invited.

Ask Before Sending the RSVP

According to wedding website The Knot, one of the biggest mistakes wedding guests make is sending RSVPs with uninvited guests penciled in. Whether the uninvited guest is a surprise date or your child, adding guests who weren’t invited puts the bride in the awkward position of having to contact you and disinvite the extra guest. Avoid this complication by asking any questions — for example, clarifying who exactly is included in “and Family” — before you put the RSVP in the mail.

When Only Some Children Are Invited

For weddings that take place later in the evening or are very formal, it is common to not invite children, according to Martha Stewart Weddings. Even when the bride and groom choose to have a child-free wedding, they may still make a few exceptions. Children who are in the wedding party, for example, or children in the couple’s immediate family will sometimes be invited to an otherwise adults-only wedding. Ultimately, the decision of who to invite is up to the bride and the groom, and the best etiquette is to respect their choices.

ReferencesEmily Post: GuestsThe Knot: Wedding Guests: Biggest Mistakes Wedding Guests MakeMartha Stewart Weddings: Children at Your Wedding: Is It Appropriate to Not Invite Children?Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty ImagesRead Next:

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